I blame it on the shoes

So my training for the Tulsa Run sucks. I was successfully running five miles and working my way to six. I thought, you know what Michele, you are doing so good and the running shoes you have on your feet right now have holes on the side - go ahead and treat yourself to some brand new running shoes. Shoes that will make you skip straight from training through mile 6 all the way to 8. Just like that. Done, easy as pie.

So I got those magical shoes. And they magically suck. I have not run over 3 miles in two weeks. I can barely make it to 3 miles. They only reason I do is because there is a mirror in front of the tread mill and I laugh at myself, call myself names and will myself to that 3 mile mark. Yesterday for example I made it to 2 miles. Really? It was like I had never run before.

Maybe it is not the shoes, but I have to blame it on something, right? Could it be the fact that I am stressed? Or the fact that my soon to be ex-husband told me his kids feel rejected by me since I left? Really? REALLY? So....it's easier to blame it on the shoes. I think placing blame there is easier than living in the reality that is my life right now.

I have an appointment with an attorney this week to file for divorce. I am not going to kid myself into thinking that maybe one day he will change or become the man I fell in love with 6 years ago.