As if I needed another reason to love my step dad. He sent me this today. Please note: if you have any kind of heart, you will cry. So, if you do not want to cry today - DO NOT READ THIS! If you are stubborn and read it anyway, I warned you!!
Emotionally, what you are about to go through is as tough as it was to make the decision to ask for the divorce. You have and you will constantly second guess yourself. You must trust your instincts and it helps to journal like you are doing with your blog. Some days you will feel great about it and other days, you’ll wonder did I do the right thing and feel terribly guilty about doing this. These are all the feelings I went through with mine and if any of these emotions are familiar, it just says you are normal. Probably the most important thing I remember is having a network of several people to talk to. I found myself constantly talking about it and several times to total strangers who were very supportive. After I spilled my guts to one guy, I kind of came out of my “rant” and was completely embarrassed and he said don’t apologize for that. It’s normal. Just remember to be there for the next person that is going through what you went through. Just be there to listen.
Both your Mom and I have been there and are there for you to not judge, comment or advise. We can just listen because you are hurting and talking about it will help get the hurt out. You need to find that network and maybe your church will have that support group.
I can guarantee you that time will make it all better. But in the meantime, he’ll be mean because he is a man, his ego is crushed, you don’t need him and he knows it . He knows he blew it but is too proud to ever admit that to himself or to anyone else.
He is human. And so are you and as much as you would like for him to say “I’m sorry”, my bet is that you will never hear him say it. So, let it go, be sad that the life that you had hoped to spend together and share didn’t happen. Grieve, be mad, yell, scream, curse, and then let it go. You will know when you are ready to be done being sad, mad and disgusted. You’ll find there are so many other good things for you and Piper to look forward to and enjoy. But you must go through all these stages of anger and grief and finally acceptance before eventually you will get to healing so you can go on with your life. And you can be in all three of these stages at the same time. It’s really confusing but, Sweetie, you’ll survive and always remember we’re here. Unfortunately, this is one thing, we can’t help or do for you.
But when we say we feel your pain, we really have.
I love you and let me know when you need to “rant” or just talk with someone who loves you unconditionally.
~Your Wanna be Dad.