Me: Piper can I have a kiss today?
Piper: Not today Momma, maybe on Wednesday.
Me: You need to be a nice girl to your friends today, ok?
Piper: Can I just play by myself so I don't have to be a nice girl today?
Piper: Momma, I am really, really thirsty.
Me: I'm sorry, no more drinks before bedtime. It makes you pee during the night.
Piper: Ok Momma, I give up.
Piper: Yes, I am too tired today.
Me: I wish you were "too tired" more often girl!
Me: Did you go potty in your pull-up while you were sleeping?
Piper: Just a little Momma
(Me feeling her diaper)
Me: You call that a little?
Piper: Yes, I really, really do.
(While in a bad mood)
Piper: Momma, I just really need to cry.
Piper: Because I just really, really need to.
Me: Ok, go for it.
(The crying ensues)
Piper: (while crying) Momma, I don't want to cry anymore.
Me: Ok then, stop crying.
Piper: But I really, really still want to cry.
Me: You drive me crazy little lady.
Piper: I'm not a little lady, I'm Piper!
Me: Ok, you drive me crazy PIPER!!
(Talking to my Dad)
Me: She is really T. I. R. E .D. (spelling tired, not actually saying it), I think it's time for a N.A.P.
Piper: I am not T. I. D!
Dad: When did she learn to spell?
Me: When she came out of the womb. It is another form of torture she likes to play.
Piper: I AM NOT T. I. D.!!!